Being your own rock

The soundtrack of this piece remains one of my favourite of all time. Some roosters start walking up the village. Dogs respond and join the chorus.There is a familiar humming snore filling up the house. The humming that makes everything safe for me. The peaceful humming. The tone is mellow yet as we are just shy of 5 am in the morning. Before sunrise joins in, the house is lit by the powerful white sharp street lights.There are no hidden nooks as I let all the light, night and day to overflow with abundance. The white colder light at night. The warm and chameleonic natural light of the day, invited to surprise us in all its splendor.

(Glitch - the photos will be uploaded later when a network will be available).

For now, we rely on the the power and beautiful intention of the written world. And the humming soundtrack. As the roosters and the village dogs went back to sleep for a little more.

I was longing to celebrate with you too some of the revelations of the past month really. Revelations that do not happen overnight, revelations that work their way to the surface and wish to shine their light on for a very long time. Even past lives. Who can say otherwise?

The meet up with all natural elements in the month of August stirred some deeper ripples inside my heart. With each storm, with each thunder and lightning, the frequencies and sounds kept multiplying and taking space inside my heart, my body and my mind. To my own surprise, it is not a ripple effect that comes and goes just momentarily. It did have the powerful impact of connecting me with the present time. And as go along and move forward, I can sense the echoes of the winds, the storms, the blasting sound to live inside my heart and take space there for much longer. A stronger alignment with everything surrounding me. A resetting that might have seemed isolating at the very moment, and yet, here we are, weeks later feeling the resonance deep inside. The inner chimes kept vibrating and shaking the core of my entire being. The inner chimes keep at it while we speak.

The roosters are back now stronger and more voices joining their chorus. Dogs do not respond this time. I wish I could read musical notes and create this “Before sunrise” sonata for your.

In the vortex of the sound, in the vortex of the ripples, in the vortex of the shaking and aligning, I could take in, note by note, lightning by lightning, and assimilate the powerful energy that nature gifts us with.

The blast of these shocking storms on one side. The silence within and insightful noticing on the other side. The isolation that led to - “There is nothing we can do at this very instant, just breath and find safety. All is well. “ I can remember these vividly although that kind of storms are left behind. The internal resonance keeps on showing up ,at different intervals.

Amidst the long days of literal dark clouds, there was this light. There was this sense that if I stop the time and look at myself from outside, zooming in as another person to check in on myself, I could find one, two, a couple more of glimmers. I could find little pockets of sunshine, I could find little treasures that are all within myself. I could find a rock to rest on and offer me the stability that this rock will still be here after all the storms.

The shores will wash out unexpected debris. The water might flow in and create its own meanders and leave its own marks. The internal chimes of my heart will still carry on the energy of the mother nature. And I would commit once again to be my own rock. “All is well.”

The frequencies, the crescendoes ,the lower notes and the bass, fill up my entire body and I remember to play. I remember to play to the music. I remember there is rhythm in all there is and we can play. We can have our little dance. We can jump and lift our hands towards the sky or we can embrace our body into a child pose (yogini way) and touch the earth, touch the rock that stands.

Flying out recently and embarking of a longer flight, made me face my own tiredness.Made me face the fact that we were coming close to the month of September and that there is a lot happening still. Made me face the limitations of my own vessel, my dear body who withstands all the demands I place on her. Made me face the fact that being on the plane, in sort of quasi-isolation, I could settle in that defined time and space and repeat to myself once again” there is nothing we can do at this very moment. All is well. You have thirteen hours ahead where you can surrender and rest.”

I remember vividly the emotions I have felt just by saying “ All is well. You are your own rock. You make every day possible, one step ahead of each other, with tremendous diligence. You show up. You give it one thousand percent. Please keep finding the pockets of sunshine and warm your heart with.”

There was this nice memory I had from our famous Chicken beach on a stunning breezy rare Saturday mornings where I could bask in the perfect sunshine on a real rock. I happen to have even a photograph of it as the preciousness of that particular Saturday after long long weeks of darkness has moved me deeply. I have felt that I want to become one with the breeze, one with the sunshine, one with the sand, one with the waves crushing into he shore, one with the streams emerging from all sides of the secluded beach and meeting the sea just there. I sat for hours at the convergence point between all elements. I became the convergence point and chose to be my rock, the eternal witness to all changes. Erosion prone, yes. Who would know however at which speed and what length of time that moves.

What moved me deeply sitting on the plane and facing the fact that I can rest, for a full thirteen hours, is the resistance to let me body surrender first. At first I even thought that would be impossible as I was sitting next to a family of four, sweet kids and moving energies. I found myself waking up, not even knowing that I was dozing out ,when the stewardess invited them kindly to a family friend front row and the seats near me suddenly became free. Someone has swapped and accepted the change and moved back to allow the family to have the row all by themselves. The stewardess kept thanking this person, I could hear her voice, not so much his though. Through the heavy lids trying to stay somehow awake before the take off I could see a new passenger seated at the other end. Calm and steady as a tree. Hands in a gentle mudra, taking a sit and meditating. I could never be hundred percent sure that he was someone who meditated a lot. All I could see during the entire passage of the flight, was however the same very posture. For the next thirteen hours, I had the intriguing instinct to check in on him - unmoved by anything, not cold, not warm, palms facing up, calm as an oak, bearing witness to all there was in deep silence. I never heard a word. I never witnessed changing his position. And with that calming witness to my journey ,I have managed to slowly doze off and letting myself surrender in safety. “All is well. Surrender and let it all be just as it is.” I have just found myself both an anchor and a glimmer of the very long day. A highlight that I never saw coming and filled my heart with gentle notes of joy, swiftly reverberating. In safety. And gentleness.

My intention for the notes today have been in fact quite different. I wanted so much to write about our little dog Tao who sadly said good bye to us this Monday. This angel is the real glimmer of all glimmers. The way she knew to make everyone happy and laugh and play and kiss our tears. It is too fresh to write any essay about her and her spirit because I barely can see the screen now amidst the overflowing emotions and tears coming up. Time is needed to reach a place where a love letter will take form and shape and words will melt on the paper .She deserves so much.

I would love to mention though that she has been one of my rocks, even from afar and my glimmer at the same time. That late night on the plane, surrendering to rest and sleep, despite the freezing unbearable temperatures we must endure somehow while flying, I could not only glimpse at the meditator. I did remember how Tao would come up in the middle of the night, sneak upon us, visiting one by one all the members of our family and hugs us. She will come up at our neck, or snug behind our backs and keep us warm. She will stay for a while, make sure you are well and then visit another family member. She had this mother instinct in her. checking in with all her puppies at all times. We are all her kids in fact. It is in such a moment, when a good bye is approaching when words have no meaning. When expressing myself is non-sensical almost.

She deserves our eternal gratitude for taking care of us and holding us together for many years. We were so lucky to have her love. Thank you Tao. All is well.

Beneath all the layers and formations of any rock, there are many untold stories. The passage of time, the emotions, the imprint of what made it through the day, through the night, through that plane journey, through September, through the year… trough now.

The ripples of glimmers, the frequencies, the heart trembling. They all converge in us and we can feel it with others.

Thank you for reading a post with no photographs or audio for now. There might be edits at later stage when the connecting network could be more generous.

Bye for now and may we hold dear to all our angels.