Dreams
The things we build as we go…
Magdalena
12/3/2023
Hello. Hi. ….
Slow morning here. And quite a special morning too. I was deeply in a dream where I would talk to you and share a coffee and be live on this platform. Like connecting for real on a bigger scale. I was so eager to share so many things that I have been processing these past few weeks… It is a ritual now after all.
It has been such a vivid dream and funny enough I was pondering seriously what topics should I focus on mostly today. There were few key words I do remember “Extraordinary in the ordinary” and then few more impactful words from Jon Batiste’s newest documentary just launched on Netflix. There was a big mix in my mind, heart and dream. I was also wondering why am I still sleeping when I should be right up and writing.
One day- but not today! - I should explore the role of “duty” in my responses to life. It is a connector among all of us and I have no doubt about it. It is forever here and I do a lot of work to turn the dial down on this one. Even when I am trying not to be active enthralled in it, it is one of the voices humming something.
This week was full. I wonder also about yourself, do you take long to process some of the events, even those who might seem good things? I am as it seems still processing my “surprise” trip back home. A lot of details ,smiles, coffee moments at 4am and then at 8am with mum, neighbours support, bus trips, the dogs happily playing in the courtyard, family hugs…it is a lot of ordinary turning into extraordinary punched into 10 days trip.
I believe I managed to surprise myself the same level or more than I have surprised my own family.
The shed in the welcoming photo to this post is one of my dreams in the sense that I would love to have a little corner outside, where the light will diffuse from all windows and follow the sunrises, the sunsets, into the nights with the the new moons and full moons and the stars and meteoroids and planets meet ups and all that.
The shed funnily enough reflects one of my visions I had few years back attending a holography workshop in Hong Kong. I am now thinking of it as a meditation class under the ever emerging holograms images. It was an anchor that worked well for myself although the room was a bit tight and crowded ,yet all the images and colours were constantly creating patterns from each other and bringing a pattern of continuity and masterful flow. It has helped me detached then from whatever reality and prompted me into a place of my dreams. A place of my own, and a place fully immersed in nature. A place of creativity and dreaming. A place of rituals and connection. That also included a big kitchen as improvised cooking is definitely one of my easy to go trances for years now.
And here we take a bow of gratitude to my friend who found this current home for me. It is a home where gratitude practices become not only a deep ritual but also a constant ritual. One cannot wonder enough of the power of the dreams turning reality even if in different shape and form than initially envisioned. Even if is rent or own, even if is long term of shorter term. I am now living in it, listening to the birds, discovering new plants, new flowers as the seasons move on, welcoming Charlie the parrot who salutes us with “Hello, Hi” and expects attention!.
There is also this shed here. And old container turned into a workshop shed by my father. I was just trying to capture the magic sky we have back home in my grandparents village and somehow took a panoramic shot instead.
I would have to admit this with a lot of remorse. It took me many years to understand fully the value of the things left behind by my parents. The value of making things. My parents are builders. They have built or crafted so much. And there was a time in my life when I have resented so much that we have to repair, to build ourselves, to make our own metal cabinets, our own bookshelves, our own clothes racks, hot water water tank ….and so many others. It is just a lack mentality at work because there were many things that we could not find or we could maybe not have just resources to buy as new. My dad’s principle I guess was that “I can do it why should we spend the money”.
This is in fact how we made my first bookshelves. How my dad made them- take than back. I made a sketch and he put all of that together with another woodworker . Then my dad and his best friend and they have installed it on my wall. This is how the things got done back then. People were doing things with their own hands.
It was such an amazing feeling for me that time to have wow a bookshelf where I can curate for real my own collection of books. In my own room,separate from the books in the living room - a mix of classic literature but also construction books.
Yet. There is a strong yet. I did value the craftsmanship. While at the same time I had big dreams about buying new things too or having access to new things. We would get this catalogues from West Europe like Quelle or others cannot really remember what else and spend days to go through all the pages and note what I like and mark them and dream we could also have access to such a variety during a bit of darker years of my teenage years.
This contrast is ever evolving. My dreams back then.My dreams back now. The nostalgia of the old shed is real. We still have partially some of the tools that he honoured and used to repair things around constantly. Some of the tools just got lost - we tend to borrow to neighbours, or simply not keeping good track of them. My family also got new ones for the garden. It is a circular movement in the end the shed holds that space still firmly for us.
The old shed is somehow more real now simply because it led me to the big realisation and immense pride that my parents are builders. They made things. They have left things behind for us to use and to hold onto.
This realisation came about first time in a very very strong way while reading a book by Chris Anderson, called “Makers,The New Revolution”.
I remember also as a punch in my gut as I have unfortunately removed the clothes rack when we painted the rooms last round few years back. I had again wanted something new to replace that rack who lasted for years.I maybe just needed a good vibrant colour on it instead of simple grey. Please believe it was very hard to find and buy a rack that I would love. I just settled for something new and far less than what was made before. In a nutshell, I have simply did not understand the immense value of the things made by my father. With his own hands.
I maybe only kept in my memory some of the images of coming back from school sometimes and our table in the living room turned into a mini workshop while he was repairing the steam iron or my hair dryer. Or something else ….he even had a mini shed with tools in our apartment too. And he would be very infuriated if we removed something and never placed it back. Luckily to manage the stock in an apartment was far easier and would be easier to find it misplaced and put it back quickly.
These are keys. Also made by my dad. It takes skills to use them. I learn for few days when I am back at my mum’s and then I forget again.
It is not only good to go back and immerse again in all of that. It is important to recognise the big legacy left by my parents. Deep care for us to be safe and ok and maintain the resources that we have no matter what they were. Deep care also expressed into building so much for us.Literally. A lot of integrity to carry forward, integrity born from a very humble sense of ownership and taking care of your family.
For them it was always ordinary. It was for my dad and it still is for my mum. Is normal to do these things for people in general, not only for their family.
I did not even have the time to get into my mum’s legacy. It is scary for me at times. It is. We pass by building or by a house and she says” I have worked on this project too. We have built the foundation of this theatre here when I was a young student. I have built this house with Mona. I have done this with Mr X, or this Mrs. Architect,. Viorica did all the land measurements there” . It is a lot to take in.
So my story today is about the extraordinary found in the ordinary. I love going on this treasure hunts. It is a what I pursue nowadays. So much inspiration around us so much to full your heart with.
Cannot leave without adding a great youtube channel I follow for years as a heartfelt cheers to all the dreamers outthere. Living Big in Tiny House….
What have you been dreaming about?
Love and sweetness and kindness, stay well friends.
Have a nice coffee today and keep dreaming,
Mag
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