How can I help?

Sunrise calling, Home Kong, Winter Season (by the author)

At times there are dreams.

At times there are calls. Old fashioned way.The phone rings literally.

At times there is just a hunch.

At times there is a weakness in somone’s voice that you catch invariably and it might keep you awake at night.

At times there is a strong impulse to act. And see a calling from a far. The impulse gets you a plane ticket and you hop on.

At times there is an even stronger thread to connect. Old fashioned or new fashion as the emails are still en vogue, you click on the “compose” icon and write away.

At times, just by simple proximity, you might hear words or you might go an octave lower and listen to their heart. Someone’s heart vibrates in such a way that you might here a cry.

When is the last time that you hugged your dog who dearly missed you and you have let him/her talk to you. Vowel consonants blended together in a language that we do not master yet, unless we really resonate with their story and sink in. These past two weeks offered me plenty of opportunities to both hug and play with our family dogs but also to listen to their stories in a moment of rest. Under my right or left arm, in quiet safety and warmth, the doggies found a way to yawn, or to utter and tell me all they kept in their storage for months since I lastly met them. I kept saying “I understand.I know. You are so right.I hear you.” And hence their story continued for more minutes. Once relieved and story heard, they put their head on my lap and start storing. There is so much to love here, to give and to receive.

To honour here my subjective self-reflection at the end of my short holiday back home I recognize that I was meeting a right moment, right place kind of situation. There are many occasions that we wish to spend time with our dearest ones. Like Christmas or birthday celebration. Occasions that we might miss due to the normal cycle of work and life balance. However,I have felt with utmost certainty that this particular moment, outside of the usual calendar I could follow as a guide, has just felt spot on.

Most probably and in the same subjective manner I would say I needed this moment most, and then it all fell into place.

This certainty that one can imagine it is a miraculous even in its own has reached its peak when I got messages or calls and I could pick them up in real time. No time zone differences. No lag in call and response. There was a need to reach out. And then there was a response right then. And that just kept repeating.

An echo of consonants and vowels, now put in order or lack of order, within the framework of a language that I still master.

The process remained the same. You first take in the words that came as they were. Then, let me sink in. Sleep over them for few hours or overnight. And perhaps then or even later one ,I could find new meanings or even calls for help. That would not be a mandatory effect. It just happens that some connections are made,some neurons lit on fire together and generated some ways to respond in a more meaningful way too.

None of the calls asked for anything .None of the messages demanded even my attention. It was a pure joy, shared on both sides of the phones, that we are in the same time zone and we could feel closer. And that is all that matter.

I have nothing more than gratitude for it and it has brighten my day or evening with a calm bliss. Perhaps the fact that we knew it is also confined within a pre-determined time period, made all these encounters even more precious so.

You might have heard of Ram Dass and his book “How can I help? “. The most relatable quotes from his book are:

“We are all just walking each other home.”

“The quieter we become, the more we hear.”

“We are fascinated by the words, but where we meet is in the silence behind them”

All above have meaning to me. And now they might connect with you as well. I am glad I have helped.

The question on its own it does not mean to me that I have to always take action and react to anything. It does not even mean that someone would need any help at all. And yet, the simple act of asking myself this question, brings a more effective way of reflection.It might just help myself. Through a pure self-reflection and inquiry inwards.

I loved therefore also watching “The New Amsterdam” series, exactly because of this question asked and answered on repeat. A simple practice of shifting a perspective and ask out loud or internally. Audience or no audience. In case of “The New Amsterdam” we would not talk only about medical interventions. The would talk life.They would talk kids.They would talk heartbreaks. Understandable a blue-print for succes when making a movie. And yet, with this simple question, it kept raising the bar for all of us.

We too can ask the same question. In any situation.

We too can ask the same question to ourselves.

We too can recognize when action might be needed, or silence might be the only way.

We too can be present.

An exercise in presence.

I hope truly that I could listen deeply and that the white noises behind the words have reached me, have enriched me and perhaps my heartfelt answers also reached and enriched someone yesterdays, and todays and will reverberate into their tomorrows.

Thank you for listening.