I take a break and wonder

My senses, my heart, my mind processing wonder.

My senses, my heart processing wonder. More than my mind.

My mind meanwhile is trying to bring all together to make sense in written form, yet would have to accept that we will go with randomness this time. I would have to accept and ,hopefully you too ,with so much understanding.

All my heart sees now are in the form of multiple, multiple movie takes. Take one. Take two. Take three. There is not much interpretation as I let all pass through me.I invoke hereby a natural selection and invite my senses to take over and keep only what they wish to keep.

It is 6 am where I write now. I could not find my favourite photo of yesterday labelled “for today on Substack” as a little mental note. I kick off writing under indirect light as otherwise our kitchen light would be too bright and will for sure wake up my mind too. I love this life early in the morning in silence.

Take one is as follows: imagine a woman, taking her coffee cup and walking carefully in semi-darkness to find a place to sit. She chooses a little bench in the corridor/ slash mini conservatory as is full of plants. Lilies, not in bloom. Only their green stems growing up fast and full. Branching out in all directions. So much green. The woman takes in, breathes in fully the green filtered from the street light filling up the conservatory. The breath in is as long as it can be. Not wanting to let go. Making almost sure the memory will remain fresh for long.

Green is greener here.

Green is greener where you belong.

Green is greener where you feel safe.

Green is greener where the house if full and you can hear deep breaths or even light snoring coming from other rooms.

Take two.Imagine coming up the stairs and getting awestruck by the beauty of the afternoon light. The sun was warmer today. The warmth extended to the little reading nook where everything gets to be suspended. Life is not still however. Voices permeate the space, someone is asking for something, the woman mesmerised with the light remembers that she came up to collect a surprise. Her heart stops and anticipates the emotions that will flow. Hard to say. Hard to imagine. Yet, there will be an overflow of emotions. Her heart is racing and catching a moment to capture the light allows her to also take a moment to sit with her own emotion. A little project she was working on would meet the dear people dedicated to. This light only encourages her to take the steps. The time is now.

The light is warmer when the timing is right.

The light is warmer where you belong.

The light is warmer when all is created from love.

The light is warmer if one takes time to notice it.

Take three. Quince everywhere. Quince in all shapes and forms. All shades of yellow and greenish, some still ripening. There is only one thing to do after some deliberation between quince preserve or “gutuiata” (quince liqueur). Recipes are floating, repeated. The glass jar is measured. The sugar is measured. Mum does it all in phases, step by step, starting with cutting slowly the fruits. It is a hard fruit and requires some effort. It would also need one year to let it ferment and could be only served then. So much simplicity in all “ This requires patience”, mum says. “And this is right up my alley. Patience is a quality I have in abundance.” Aging, not seeing as well, all teaches new levels of patience in her. Life is far from being still. Small steps, small motions, all creating more life, all creating.

The quince scent infuses everything.

The repeating motions of cutting, removing the seeds, removing the stems is a slow movie in itself.

The love that goes into the recipe is palpable. It is so natural. As if that would be something mum always does.

Instead is the beginner’s mind. You can see her curiosity beaming on her face. Sometimes she asks questions that I have no answer for. She keeps at it. Steady. Timely.

“Let me take a break. No one is rushing us.”

I tend to linger in the space of breaks just to notice. Just to belong.

The light, the grass , the sunsets, the full moon, the heating pumping through the pipes. They all live traces in my memory. The warmth from all here. The hugs I get with so much insistence from missis here.

There is a lot more tones under all these takes. There is life. There are activities. There are thing to do, to accomplish. There is cabbage to ferment. There is a cake to bake. There are babies to take care of. There are courses to learn. There are chickens to feed.

There are dreams to fuel your heart with. And my dream of all dreams remain harmony. The quince scent is as subtle as it can be. It is an understatement of harmony in all. We know autumn is here. We know seasons are set in motion. We know we change and notice. We know we infuse our memory with this sense of belonging on purpose, to be able to carry it for longer. Longer distances, longer time.

Enjoy the autumn light and see how green the grass becomes for you when you might stop to notice its leaves.