Late afternoon light

Photo taken 1 minute ago by the author of this letter …. “Room with a view in the afternoon sun”

Change. Resets. Adjustments. Try again. How does it work? Does it make sense? What would work best?

We are in January and all we could hear around this time evolves around resolutions.Small or big, inspirational or aspirational, doable or not. I would say I tend to be the silent resolution taker and just start implementing changes, shifts, and wait and see how it would evolved. These steps move revolve around how to feel better overall or how can I sustain my dreams.

If you had the pleasure of meeting a Piscean before, you might well know then that we cannot turn down the dreaming dial. We dream.And we dream a bit more.And we dream again. That is a double shift almost intensity because we dream a lot at night too and we dream quite a bit during the day too.

The last day dream I was pretty much induced by a breathing meditation session it turned into a vision. I am not even talking about a brand new vision. It was something at the back of my mind, showing up occasionally and nodding back at me asking patiently “ when would be the time?”.

Here I am during one meditation struck by seeing myself sound and clear writing and learning into a complete new space. I took a piece of paper afterwards and with 3-4 strokes I put things on a paper too.

I wonder what this image might bring back to you and how would you related to this moment? I could say one thing- I have done that tens and hundreds and thousands of times. Million of post its and notes everywhere seeing another version of myself in a space totally aligned with what I was intending to do. In this particular case, it was about writing.

The difference with other times was that I felt that running so deep in my heart, as if it almost happened. I even went online, checked some helpful accessories for the new decor,I was brimming with enthusiasm.

There was a caveat, I had to free up the space in the spare room to create my vision. And as it happens, after a series of funny messages here and there, this was sorted out too.

The feeling of freedom. Of nothing holding back- was immense.

The online shopping basked saw a new surge and I was thrilled with all the little jitters of change, of clearing out, or rearranging furniture and decluttering. For some, like me, or Marie Kondo and so many others, it is a point of great satisfaction.

At the peak of a Saturday morning kind of energy and a beautiful light spoiling us I dove in. Music on. Gloves on when necessary. All books were dusted off. Things were shuffled. Furniture was carried from one room to another( and luckily nothing heavier than I could pull off!). In a record time with no breaks, I managed to be ready in about 3-4 hours.

The best of parts - the dreamy online basket waiting for me it is still waiting. Recirculate and repurpose what you have- my new motto! Practicing it for many years already but with a new year under our nose I thought to give it the weight of importance it deserves.

The no so best of parts - what you had as 2D on a piece of paper, it might look so categorically different with 3D furniture in. The room resized on the spot and seemed much smaller than before. Of course, there are many ways (I mean two ways) to rearrange all around to create a dancing floor. And should you remember what was the the purpose of the entire shuffling - you would also understand why I did not choose the dancing floor space instead.

My desk and my bookcase reign now. This is all that matters.

Sitting this morning for the very first time and actively using the new set-up, my little studio I have also discovered new things - to adjust too, to own them, to make them work. The light that I was so much enjoying in the older set up, studio in the living room one, was no longer available.

Taken this morning exactly the same location my desk was before. Beautiful playful light.

Here I was on the other side, in a room where the sun shines sporadically and from afar in the afternoon .I am taking in and noticing all the changes. I am feeling on a sort of writing retreat lucky enough to get the room with a sea view. The light is here, but in a new form and way, colder perhaps and inducing focus. Anytime I pursue changing a habit and I also manage in doing so, I kindly and gently remind myself what was my initial intention and goal.

I can assure there is no crying over the sunlight in the other rooms. I got a new excitement now, anytime I go for a little coffee, or making tea - the sun comes not as a given but as a bonus. I reconnect with its beauty and warmth. I follow its traces always with great awe and even more so as I am not taking it for granted. I have to go and find the sun and reconnect. Spend few minutes together again. Here it is, reinventing an old reward system. I reward myself with a coffee and a cup of sunshine as if I had just emerged from an eskimo hut. I bask for real with much gratitude.

The beauty of shifting energy, clearing and creating room for new endeavours to take place it has become such a ritual ingrained for a life time. I had the part with moving furniture rooted deeply from my mum,as I most probably mentioned before. She giggle today when I told her I moved things again. I have no idea where do I get the part about clearing and letting go of things that served my well but no more. Yet, it is a transformative practice for myself. I am as surprised as ever and ever more in awe every single time when I can still find things to let go of even after a recent clearing. New years resurrect the urge in me to clear out space.

These might sound like old habits yet, with every new challenge, you might have to even face your past self. And everything you liked. I love sitting with a book and check what I have underlined then. It might look an an empty message now. Or I might say to myself - that is wise. I followed on that advice! And I loved it … well done. I look up sometimes at quotes around partnerships and love at first time. They do sound a bit strange I might say and only because I became to estranged of the concept. They bring a cute smile inside me “ being in love”…”sweet”.

The beauty of it all is in the beauty of movement with intention following a dream that I could almost paint in in watercolours.

In the beauty of being able to follow my instinct and where possible acting on it. And this once in a while, for the pisces in me could seem a bit gargantuan.

Lovely enough, I came across a very zen book on “Zen Healing” talking about Japanese rituals for beauty, harmony and love. I turned the book into my little ritual for taking the early rides to work on a weekday. I am only 15 pages in and highlighted tons on each page. And why would be that I was thinking . Thank you so much “I live like this.” I related on the spot with the approach. I found all these principles and approaches that I implement and hone even deeper, with every opportunity, so familiar and beautiful expressed. Pure poetry for my ears ,a sakura of a book to lure my eyes.My heart is full with every page I take.

The Little Book of ZEN HEALING

I leave you here with a quote by Paula Arai, the author.

Various dimension of “self” need nurturing, including personal, relational, and environmental. To NURTURE SELF includes arts such as going to sleep when sleepy and drinking water when thirsty. Yet, it is hard to sleep when stress, fear or pain loom large, especially in dystopian times. Being in a space absolutely guaranteed to be free of contagions, discrimination, or violence is for many a distant dream. The challenge of nurturing underscores our interdependence.Nurturance is a matter of not merely control and achievement but also consciously choosing to love. A critical aspect of nurturance is to ENJOY LIFE. […]To enjoy life it does not mean to not care. Rather, mindfully do what you can do in current conditions, which is an intrinsically a joy- producing healing activity. Pausing to enjoy a deep breath and smiling on the exhale is a simple and quick way to feel the joy of being alive, whether at work, volunteering, exercising or even taking out the trash.