
Permission to fall in love
Are you ready to go on a big bold beautiful journey?
Magdalena
9/3/2026


Daring to fall in love and be in love?
Daring to think I fall in love again?
Daring to talk about falling in love?
Daring to LOVE? That far away shore I kept out of sight for a century almost. What would it mean now:to explore, to be curios about someone real and tangible that grows slowly on you. Someone who might be open to an adventure as you are. Someone who is respectful, kind, takes life easy but lightly and laughs with true joy.
This is not me now. This is me dreaming. This is me definitely not talking about it until now.Mostly because I have no good answers to why or why not’s.
This is one of the those conversation subject that could go wrong very fast simply because a lot of people get disarmed when I mention I tend to focus my priorities differently right now. It is not because I am trying to make a special statement, it is not an act of bravado, it is just my story.
As I write now, I dare, truly dare, to pick up this subject publicly. In all honesty, I cannot remember last time I had a conversation about this subject with a real person, face to face. There was a time when I was offering advice to excited hearts, enjoying new thrills and looking forward to meet their person again. As there were so many more times when I found myself offering advice to hurt hearts too, and most of it was coming down to a question : What do you really want? Deep down, in your core, do you know what is good for you?
If someone would ask me this same question today, I would say : I really want harmony, and travel adventures, a dog or two, a fun colourful home, quiet evenings and mostly to keep my promises to myself. A great answer, that does not depends on anyone. It took years for sure, but I have learnt not to objectify anyone, not even in my dreams, to present himself as a potential partner. Even as I am sharing this brutal realisation with you too, reader, I can sense a lot of misinterpretations or reading of a simple situation in time.One that happens to be very personal.
I love writing letters to a lot of interesting people, including very close ones. Most of these letters are never sent, never found their owner, the majority of which might be written purely on the canvas of my flowing imagination. The framework of such a letter is pure love, a glimpse into the novels of unspoken words that we leave behind us. The content of this letter is raw, asking to be expressed quickly, often after an outpour of emotions, an outpour of empathy towards a person ,a friend, a situation, often a regret for feeling a misunderstanding, a feeling of knowing that we might not be able to catch this time again and repair anything. In its own internal power, this blueprint of “the imaginary letter” is calling the feelings to be let out, and all details and momentary observations to take center stage, without embarrassment, without being sorry, without bursting into tears.
These letters are letters of love. They can carry the sound of a soft background music, they can carry the fallen leaves of a tree and the dried petals of a rose, in so many transformed colours.As the intensity of emotions is basking in their sunset, finding a good calming horizon for reset, they seem to become immortal.This is the art of finding another chance for a lost moment, a new form of beauty on its own.
These letters are loaded with honesty. And they are never about being right or wrong, or including “I told you so”. You can also make your own rules about starting this internal practice or recovering the unspoken words.
These letters find the courage to say this and that and more this and dig beyond that, with a deep calm voice, not a trembling one. The voice of a message that never sees the light, never meets the space, yet alone never meets the receiver. They could be at some point a bet on the works of telepathy.
I declare this mysterious receiver universal. It might start with a particular person in mind, and the other truth is that when I pay attention on the things I write, hence I say telepathically too, I can easily discover a pattern that wants to show up, again and again. Would you agree with me that me and you might wish we can have this honest talk but what we are saying does not imply any longer a direct chosen address, once we are in the middle of “writing the letter”. It is addressing instead all these years of encounters, that were in the zone of “not the right moment to talk about it”.
And that right moment tends to be delayed, delayed, carried over. Overtime, there is a gorgeous tapestry of interwoven overlaps prompted by more and more encounters, layers and patterns.
I believe this is how the books, the stories are captured, after weaving this tapestry of meanings and lost moments of pure joy and expression of love. Just like with any revelation, a trigger let us see a door suddenly opens or we, too, open ourselves to a new experience with a renewed sense of courage .With a simple act of trying.
At times, this can be a literal nudge, or ten from a dear friend or from a total stranger, who can see something. A sofa does not even have to exist for it. A friend sees a change in the way we send messages, a change in the answers, a lack of questions or desire to take a chat to a voice call, a drag and a resistance that never happened before.
What happens in those somehow controlled exchanges, yet very honest, is that your search for belonging is witnessed. The friend notices you losing hope and surrender to the futility of the search.
I love carrying on dialogues too and surrender to the immediate adrenaline rush a good soulful conversation can bring along. An experience that calms our nervous system, and yet offers an infinite pool of excitement and hope in the now and the future. An infinite pool of hope there are people in your world, who stand by you and remain curious in you being you.
Those too can be imaginary, can be a best-in-class day-dreaming. Even so, you know deep down how the experience feels. Because, luckily maybe in your case, you did experience the reality of it before, hence this becomes a dream to long for too.
I remember viscerally how a conversation lifted my spirit, the sensation of safety mixed with pure love being so precious and rare. Inimitable feeling. Oxytocin released slowly. Each experience of a similar hidden in fact magnitude (as we can feel the reverberations much later and in waves even years and years later), will carry a different imprint from the sheer uniqueness and blend that timing, situational map, and all the preconditions that made it possible be present. It feels almost as an auspicious moment, whose magnitude we might feel intuitively, and we tend to grasp with an aftershock effect on our hearts, body and minds. It might happen that we can even doubt how does this outpouring of love, with soul and honesty and caring listening, it is so possible and tangible and it is destined for us. I remember fondly many moments like this. Both of receiving and embracing fully the care, or doubting that this moment can find me.
I am lucky however to know how that feels like. I am lucky to know that is possible. I am lucky to know that such moments are real. And having experienced that , in itself is a reserve of courageous hope. Therefore ,when I can feel far away from such a moment and there is no “forecast in sight” of a tender encounter, I can plug in, I can turn on this imaginary VR set of mine and become witnessed.Settle into a session of friendship on demand. Create and direct my friendship moments on demand.
You might rightly argue that this has been quite an unexpected introduction to a riveting subject.The title offered you immediate conclusions, you were suddenly so curios to learn how I fell in love again. Then, here I was telling you that I avoid not only talking about, I avoid acting upon it, I avoid this falling in love potential with the mind of a teetotaller. Is like a forgotten life that I mysteriously know that is possible, but I simply do not know how to handle.
What has changed though? Most of my friends would be so curious about this with the loving hope that I found the one, the good one, and is pure joy.
What happened is that I watched finally the movie “A Big Bold Beautiful Journey”, with Margot Robbie (Sarah) and Colin Farrell (David).


This was one of these discoveries that shifts your mood with full force and sends you into the boldest bubble of hope. I was on a plane, and all I wanted was something quirky, from the heart. And here I was couple of hours later, left in awe. This is a very gem made of fairy dust, while presenting so many questions around a potential twist of a fate, with some good old humour and a very “Alice in wonderland” kind of a car rental shop, whose concierge is kind of perfect.
Two people set on a journey pretty ordinary. An invitation to a friend s wedding. The onset, that starts to become so quirky from the car rental shop, almost liberates us from the very beginning and promises us to be in a good mood. Dare I say we, you do know I talk about me. Not sure how many people today will fall in love with this movie. That would be my person.I welcome you, my quirky person.
The actions seem to precipitate quite fast, and we get to this moment when the main characters open up about what they look for in life, and she asks him suddenly in marriage. No one expected that question that fast. He does decline.
The magic might be right there, in that prompt, that very bold question, cracks him open and perhaps starts looking at her without questioning how twisted a mind she might have.
It was a moment when you get this very direct question and it makes you really wonder. What would you do in such a situation. We then embark with both of them on a journey of seeking something beautiful and soulful, while we are taken aback by their self inquiries in the past and what makes them the people of today, what makes them so afraid to love and be open to love. There is this very mix of salt and pepper, of essence and playfulness, of joy and sadness, of trust and doubt, of loads of doubt and increasing trust too. They were me, combined in one.
Sarah asks: “So what is it that you want,David? ”
David replies: “I want to go back to the time when I thought that everything will work out for me.”
The official trailer spoke to me much dearly now, after I have watched it.
Confession: I have watched this movie like three months ago, and despite the desire to talk about it right then, I simply avoided gracefully, for generic reasons, not too spill out too much, too fast and too personal. I got cautious and got back into my cute the turtle shell, so warm and protective. You might see my head or me basking in the sun at the park or swimming, but you cannot see and hold my heart.
The story line and the way it was created carried a beautiful simplicity with quirks and turns.The GPS system in the car is absolutely adorable. I can see this model fitting a vintage car.Even more so once it starts asking the driver, David in this case: “Are you ready to go on a big bold beautiful journey?”. Who would not want rent a car with this perks. The way David replies although very subtle is absolutely superb, he is definitely intrigued and he would like very much so, and yet, he choses his words with timidity and perplexity even, while deep down he is convinced. “Yes.Yes.”
The doors they find on their journey then, helps David and Sarah reenact some lost memories, mostly with their families, but also a high school musical play, where we discover a very artistic, talented David, considered to be very very special by his parents.
The impossible act of both taking back the time and change it, changing the future is a dream for many of us. An act that I align in my own system of tools and tricks with the letters or dialogues, honest and from the heart, that I chose to create and send telepathically most of the time.
This act of reliving the past while changing our disbelief in our own power to love with full enthusiasm on board is presented here in a soft light, with sharp and bold colours again, and does offer a constant unwavering tenderness, brings in the heart-to-heart dialogue ,and make us all see our dear ones in all their beauty. Have we considered they are beautiful in the first place?We can wonder quite a lot in this space, with most of guilt. We knew too little when we were young.
Time is not lost on us. We can see our dear ones in all their beauty today. A good starting point and the hardest to sustain, especially when circumstances change in life.
Listening to them. Appreciating the habitual responses as precious ones. Sarah’s mother was always answering with “ yes, of course darling, we can do that together”. And Sarah used that answer as a newly discovered anchor today, more than anything, because she herself missed being loved and held like this.
We get to listen few times Sarah talking about her refusal to start a new relationship because she knew she cannot commit and she will break people’s hearts with illogical and irrational out of blue disappearances. Her fear became an ability to become cold hearted and stop anything that would become sweet and solid relationship.
This turns into a fear, a pattern through their journey and keeps being highlighted as both know they want to be in love. They seek love. And yet, they both keep their hearts blocked out. Perhaps because they lost their beloved people and that pain could not be healed yet.
I found the slow pace of the story, the whimsical effects, balancing a deeper sadness of not belonging yet with a well mask desire to go on this new adventure and maybe risk falling in love again. And even more so, balancing everything with subtle humour, simple laughter and an abundance of gentleness.
This is a movie I took a side note to revisit on a bigger screen. You know by now I have such a list.
Because it made me feel life.it made me laugh and cry.
It made me locate, define where I stand, in some words and simple thoughts that I could not express before.I found myself pertaining to that very same situation, sometimes as Sarah and sometimes as David.
I developed a risk averse profile to falling in love as I associated in the past only being heart broken. As if the other obvious possibility of “finding joy and sharing life can be in fact wonderful” does not even exist.
Watching this gentle sweet movie reminded me that not everything has to be very dramatic, and more importantly, reminded me that I can give myself permission to fall in love. May this big bold beautiful journey begin. I now need to design the quirky GPS that would lead me here.
Enjoy the simplicity of love and natural calling, dear friends.
