Self-care

Self-care Sundays might kick off with a good, long coffee, to allow my body to awaken, stretch and sit in a “stollen moment” with myself listening to nothing. Which pretty much can turn into listening to everything. First and foremost, tuning in the channel of my dreams:no,I did not like that one today. Pause. Paw. Memory postponed. Opening up slowly,I can feel my own chest moving up and down with the breathing. I can feel my body even crying a bit on how exhausting all of May has been. I can feel also the birds, the little concertino around 6am, and definitely the slow raindrops that would turn into a “furiosa” storm right there….in a just a matter of half and hour.

While imagining I will spend some time in nature and doing the lightest walk to the Chicken beach, had to pause, paw and also erase that dream too. Another morning, another day.

Self-care Sundays involve perhaps a nice bath and a facial mask? Sounded totally doable in between waves of rainfall and lightings.

The shower was utterly cleansing. The rainfall and waterfall were simply synchronising. The essential oils blend offered me moments of dizziness and I could have fallen asleep under purifying waterfall. Hello lovely girl, try still to wake up,what do you say? You can do it,I know I know.

These precious stolen moments just for ourselves that I can gratefully enjoy turn into easy going rituals and revolving today around doing less to nothing and being seated as much as I can( saying the girl who was dreaming of a walk!).

I am quite attached to my rituals and very aware at the same time that I I am lucky to be able turn my day around slow-motion everything. I do encourage it yet I know a lot of you might simply could not just turn all off and take this stolen moment to yourself only. Just like that. Or perhaps not yet. Some food for thought and a general question: how would you start to cultivate such ritual for your own benefit in any ways and even if only sometimes.

I would be frank today I could not read. I pick up something and then my mind seems overloaded or something. One page in,I find myself taken in another place. Sinking back to the silence of my home.

I know then I am not awake yet. I am still recovering mentally from some overloaded hard disk error. Pause. Relax. Take it easy. Stay curious. The day will unfold at its own pace. Who said we need to do right away anything at all.

All my trained and essential reflexes still work though so breakfast was delicious and so my following Turkish coffees, teas, ginger lemony water and as you know, my entire arsenal of warm drinks I love to have around.

So, you might also think that I live this glamorous life and filling my day only with luxurios moments. I definitely do my best to cultivate my own go-to essential kit for standing tall. I am getting so much better at that. I am also getting much better of understanding its necessity. We can turn anything into glamorous because is just a matter of perspective and how you look at it. All that following my own guidance. We talked before about water, is one of my elements and I can rely on this resource to reenergise me and to restore my vitality.Cleansing can be applied and approached in so many ways and water cleanses my space, my energy, and removes the static all around. The unwanted electricity. Funny to say that while some lightning bolt was also striking the jungle around me.

I hope this was a tempting invitation for all of you to figure out a “stolen moment”for yourself. Some simple tricks as above are always helpful but there is much more that I wanted to share with you. I did not have only essential oils to talk about. These were the smallest gifts and beautiful embellishments to a Sunday ritual.And while not diminishing its role in my entire “get-back-on-my-feet” strategy as I do recognize I was pretty tired, I also consider this a revolutionary act of goodness towards myself.

Wow.wow.wow. Pause. Relax. Open.

Let’s open together. So many strong words. Revolutionary because we are the last to take care of. We think lastly of ourselves. Sure, my case might be a little bit different as I could practically have more time to just focus on myself. Yet, to commit and show up to myself in this way, in cultivating rituals to revitalise my bod and my spirit, this is showing goodness to myself.

We were not brought up this way. The community, the village, the neighbourhood concepts were so strong and embedded we always considered the others.And have considered the others first. The guests even more so, elevated status altogether.

And it takes a while to unlearn one of two things. The key for me and many of us is to feel equal to all the community, village, neighbourhood, friends, family and take the same slice of pie offered to them and offer it to yourself. That is this goodness in a way that we owe ourselves.We owe to own it and be in charge of it. I am not entertaining anything egoistic, or any change. We simply have to enlarge this pie and make sure we always have a slice of it too.

Funny side note: I move pretty quickly from essential oils to pies… since is now 12.30pm here and I do have a very precise clock in my tummy. Sunday ritual-make it fun. Have a laugh.

I would love to share with you today some more of Lama Rod Owens whose work mean so much to me.

And since I have invited Lama Rod Owens here to let us dive deeper into questioning our own self-care treatment and see the beautiful possibilities to make some changes around those which are maybe outdated and not that useful, I would like to add the following paragraph…please spare some time to read it on few occasions. I have found every time something else speaking to me here.

Suggestions from Lama Rod Owens on self-care

“So, when we experience harm, some of us have been conditioned to bypass what we need and focus on what the perpetrator needs, or the agent of harm and we are also conditioned to forgive because forgiveness gets tied into goodness.

And so our goodness, our value within a family or a community is based upon how we can forgive others as quickly as possible. And I have always found that very problematic, because in the moment of surviving hurt, I am still hurt, you know.

I might have survived the moment of impact of the hurt, but the suffering from that hurt is still present. So when I bypass my experience in the moment, there’s a tendency that I won’t be able to come back to take care of myself.

So in my process here, my first work, my number one thing on my list is to take care of myself first. I don’t care of forgiving anyone. So when I get hurt, I am asking myself first and foremost, what do I need right now?

If this is a moment when really serious hurt has happened, than your first thought has to be, I need to get to safety. That’s first level of self-care. I need to get out of here. I need to call for help. I need to call in the resources that can get me out of here.

And when I find myself in safety, then I ask myself, OK, how do I start tending to the harm that’s occurred?

And then, that’s when I started getting really specific about the steps that I need to go through in order to support myself, feel grounded, to feel cared for. And that means that I begin to open up to being cared for. And I stay in this space, for as long as I need. This space can last even for years. And all we need different periods ot time and lenghts of time to experience care. “

Lama Rod Owens - New Saints

And I would also kindly ask you not to worry. Life is life and I do have the tendency to complicate myself sometimes,by simply taking too much to carry on my plate. So, I went to Lama Rod Owens to really remind me on his own strategies, which are beautifully listed in the book. It was such a revelation.

Some insight here:

My main strategies have been praying and asking for direction, leaning into what feels difficult, and getting feedback from people around me that love me.

Other strategies below:

If it feels easy , it’s probably not your work.

Take an inventory of your talents and try to align your work with your talents.

Pray and ask for signs leading you to your work.

Look around you.What do you think needs support?

How does it feel in your body? In your mind?

Is there a sense of joy, of satisfaction? Gratitude?

Please read him. It will speak to you much more if you feel ready to open.

As it happens this Sunday I also have a fresh taxi story up my sleeve from yesterday morning. It feels very difficult only to keep it to myself.

The ride was quite short, maybe not even 10 minutes… yet, yet,yet, packed with goodness. The gentleman adored me simply just by stepping in. I have to say, his eyes might have had some difficulty, but he drove pretty well. I am not sure if he has seen me that well to revere me. He adored my perfect Cantonese 9-tone accept while talking few words with him. He promised me he will take the less complicated route and we shall be there in no time. And he has smothered me in compliments” Very beautiful lady. Are you a teacher?” , “Yes, I am”. (The ones who know know). “Of course!” “Very beautiful lady teacher. “ .He apologised profusely that his English was not that good, and he mentioned my 5 words of Cantones are much better than his. “Wow. You have very very good pronounciation. Not easy for 9-tone!”

“Thanks, you are so kind”, I said. I have checked his plate number it was “ YSxxxx”.

Someone was giving me all the “Go for it”messages I have felt.

The then asked me he can play music, I was also very pleased- yes! I love music. He was playing on some cassette, could not see the name of the piece.

And, we have started listening together to what I believe is Chopin. Relaxing piano just for that space, while starting a new journey. I loved it.

And, I hope you expect that by now, the amazing offer came: “We can also sing together too!” Alright - on Chopin I rarely practiced and my curiosity and enjoyment reached maximum levels. He has started right away. His song was:

“Welcome to Hong Kong, welcome to Hong Kong.

Beautiful lady teacher. “

I hope that out loud laughter is the only mood you are in now. This is pure magic to me. My heart was full beyond and beyond and is for sure only myself who can understand that moment. My shoulders relaxed, I was on time, no rush, I was laughing.

The songs did not continue just our conversation which was quite funny. He wished me the best of the best, he has resisted heavily taking any form of tip and then he has been so grateful for just a small token you know. He had such a big heart. God bless him.

My day started at 4am. I was showing renewed signs of freshness at 8.30 even more so!

So, part of my pampering self-care rituals this Sunday morning, I have listened to all Chopin nocturnes trying to identify that pieces in the taxi. I have not found the magic key yet. I did rediscover Chopin and loving it.

I have meanwhile rediscovered this and I will gift it here to you.Let this be your “stolen moment” and gift to yourself today.

Clair de Lune,Johann Debussy