The Bear

Photo by Daniel Diesenreither on Unsplash

A box on my to-do lists got finally checked last week. I found “The Bear” and the bear found me on Carmy’s behalf. I kept watching interviews with the actors for a couple of years and as it happens to few things on my radar I simply park my interest in a mental drawer and return when I think I am ready for it.

The Bear, Teaser

At this stage many of you might have watched it already ,says the “late bloomer” in me. And if by any chance, you are still new to the subject and love watching shows around food creation and hard work, “The Bear” is a TV-series about a young chef’s ambition to create and become a maverick of his time, a chef throwing himself at the opportunity to express himself while keeping and maintaining “ non-negotiable” high standards of himself first and pushing all his circle around to step up both directly and indirectly.

I tend to look in myself first for the right mental bracket where I can watch such a show. Only because I know I will be hooked.The bracket synced in last week and mostly probably exhausted from jet lag and other reasons which I find now hard to remember even, I picked up the very show that talks so brilliantly about exhaustion among so many other topics carefully curated and expressed in great detail to the audience.

Carmy and Sydney, the key young chefs and main characters in the drama series, stole my heart in entirety.

Always honest with you, I would not go to great lengths to talk about the plot, the show ,the cast.I would try mostly to divert my internal notes on the characters while they all grew on me and I became so fond of. The show succeeded in a very intrinsic and slowly way to make me feel part of the Berzatto family and friends.

Carmy “Bear” Berzatto comes from an italian-american family lovers of food themselves. The passion is always there. We can see it at the family Christmas dinner - where Donna, Carmy’s mother spends days in preparation for her family as an ultimate act of grand service. Natalie “Sugar”, Carmy’s sister on the other hand has been introduced to us during the same Christmas dinner as “the family fixer” ,always asking “are you okay” and eventually being sort of “blamed” and “haunted” by this very annoying question to many. “Are you okay? “ serves here a big triggering role that keeps unfolding.

Only to serve the context and the stage of this massive transformation that we all get to watch, I would add that Carmy is the young chef moving away from his family in Chicago and stepping into the high performant world of learning to become and Michelin starred chef. Mikey on the other hand, his brother, owns a beef sandwich corner joint in Chicago, that has a long cue of loyal customers and functions in an very loud, hectic way full of very colourful characters ,family and staff that Mickey somehow hires through synchronicity and his probably desire to help people out too.

After his brother’s suicide, Carmy returns to Chicago, well travelled, with long years of excruciating perfectionism and enduring resilience built in the “battle fields” of world class restaurants. He sets up to take over “The Beef” ,implement changes, bringing it afloat, and transform his passion and knowledge into a great new place that will become “The Bear”.

Sydney, joins him and his “troops” from the get-go, full of ambition too and offering her enthusiasm to work alongside Carmy for whose creations held so much respect.

There is a lot of obsession, perfectionism, self-doubt, trauma and high pressure coming out as big themes in such an environment. Most people might not realize the pressure first and foremost to keep such a public space open, ingredients, every single minor detail having to work well and eventually nothing to be missing. This is a high level orchestration where anything can both thrive and suffer mishaps at the same time. Everyone depends of everyone else. The roles of all performers in this orchestration are so essential.

The magic and excellence of this series lit a huge light on these pillars that one must have in order to work well. If a pillar is misaligned, or gone missing, or surrenders and burns out - there is a long string of consequences.

I feel right now that I would have to rewatch the entire series before the new season coming out June 2025. Promise.

“The bear” is also Carmy’s nickname and apparently and endearing term used also for other characters, like “ Claire bear” for exampl, Carmy’s highschool sweetheart. Their relationship and story beautifully revealed here, as most chefs in a restaurant might affirm how challenging would be to maintain and grow a good stable relationship outside of their work. Claire’s character shows a tremendous well of understanding and love,still there, despite her life being as hectic as his as an ER doctor. She tries to heal him and herself too, she tries ever so considerate and lovingly. And then there is “the fridge guy” crisis where Carmy’s ends up locked in the walk-in fridge as he practically missed to call an important fridge fixer during his multi tasking and pressure to open the new restaurant. Things are then told and confessed .The walk-in becomes a confession space, not knowing at the end who you really were confessing too.

In the series we get to meet Carmy’s alter ego, a real grizzly bear populating his nightmares bear right away. The bear shows up and Carmy opens his cage on the bridge where his brother Mickey committed suicide. This is one of the pivotal moments in the series, a trauma that lives with Carmy and equally spills over everyone’s else. Everyone loved Mickey and his boisterous, loving, passionate way of life is always coming back. Carmy being mostly reserved and a quieter type while growing up , keeping a lot of his family’s weight inside, and almost never expressing himself to anyone. He keeps mentioning how shy he was. And we can see how much he constantly bottles up inside of him.

Sydney joins “The Beef” as Carmy’s sous chef and I could say, oh my, I loved her character and I love her acting. A pure form of art for me. She joins as sous chef, she then becomes what is called a CDC, Chef de Cuisine, meaning a head of the cuisine leading all the operations with an eye on culinary excellence and high standards.This is too me one of the most difficult jobs one can have. She is the conductor pretty much.She is entrusted a big job after she fights for it and proves her points and creativity and she puts herself out there. She is also offered financial partnership. Nothing is little here.These are big shoes to fill and she is capable, holding also her own family trauma, raised by her father since little and failing also a catering job at some point. She brings an astute calm to the “boiling fury” inside the restaurant, always a mediator calmer or not so calm occasionally between Carmy “the visionary” and the cousin,Richie - a very old family friend and loyal member of the family restaurant too. The way she tries to keep her head steady, unruffled in the process and always keeping her eyes on the goal and deliverables represents a master class for me. Love love her unraveling, slowly slowly, sharing with us her pain too, and becoming more vulnerable as the responsibility picks up.Outstanding performance.

Syndey’s bear- while no one talks about it, shows up quietly, through anxiety and panic attacks that manifest after long periods of internal suppression mainly.

More details about the show here too including some kitchen terms and details about how to operate a restaurant.

About “The Bear”, in GQ magazine

I would love to talk to you about every single character .I feel already bad I have only mentioned a few. And the way I would like to talk about them, so so lovingly, is through their journey of transformation.

One disclaimer here, for those who had anything to do with opening, maintaining a restaurant or a catering business, being in these “trenches” of creation while keeping and overseeing small and big wheels to work precisely - hats down. It is a world near to me, and it can be scary. It is a world also leading to many failures and this topic is also tackled here both with honesty, elegance and reverence .The chef-to-chef respect is also amazing.

For those who have only been “the customer” all your life, take a moment today to look around when you enter a restaurant, when someone brings you your order, say a heartfelt thank you from the bottom of your heart and look them in their eyes. Look even more around , notice all these “small details” that have a place. Notice the flow of things. If you feel compelled to complain or criticize, just hold it. Just for today, and tomorrow and the day after, let us be grateful for the huge efforts in place to offer service and great food.

Richie, plays the “cousin” with an incredible force. I wonder at times what does he do to maintain his voice as his characters is quite vocal and explosive. He loves to express himself right there, totally opposite of Carmy. He is the constant trigger button. They both trigger themselves one way or another and we are caught up ourselves or annoyed at times, how do they become so absorbed in their own trauma’s, quite publicly, as if “the present”, the urgency of the restaurant somehow takes over as a background. By watching the mad fights and both Carmy and Richie loud and sound, with thousands words at each other eternally seasoned by a lot of “f”s you suddenly become partial, try to figure out who is right in essence, and also wonder what other crisis might emerge. Will the restaurant get on fire? The tension is real mixed with the repetitive chorus of”Yes,chef” that kitchen staff have to respond with.

The show for me is in all these details, never spared by the creators of the show, that somehow I do not think leave anything out from what does it take to restore, reimagine, start over, build up something in a very short amount of time.

The creators take then even more time to go back in time, show formative events like the Christmas dinner where so much of the internal family drama comes up, and also show the trauma endured by Carmy and so many chefs or staff anywhere endure at the hand of cruel people for the sake of learning, for the sake of perfection or simply because they take every job seriously and they try to make it. I love a series taking the time to show these traces that linger in anyone and show their claws later one.

Richie is a master of expressing and letting the trauma talk through him. He keeps expressing himself and get as loud as he can get. The transformation I have seen in his character is one of the most humane. The sweetest with his daughter. The curiosity when he dives in a new environment and tries to learn new things from a top notch restaurant ,the patience he can build and the resilience and respect he gains when he is with people. You might label him originally as a mess, and yet, he brings our all that vulnerability in us, almost exposed on a big plate. You can see full range of emotions with him. And you can count on his loyalty and how he stands by Benzatto family at all times. He made me curious on reading new books about hospitality,I had a similar moment around 2007-2008 when reading about restaurants, creators, chef’s world and service kept inspiring me in general. They mention this one in the show, while Richie was learning his ropes in a new trial environment. I love anyone who can scan a table and see there is something wrong with the fork. Or scanning the room and see a napkin fallen on the floor. It is just me. I notice things.

Unreasonable Hospitality, Will Guidara

Who would be next to applaud here? Believe me, large and deep bows to all. Every single character is so well thought and has it own meaning.

“Sugar” or Natalie. Carmy’s sister. The one everyone stops from asking too many questions”Are you okay?” Questions. The very one trying to please everyone. The silent fighter, trying to be also visible in the eyes of her mum. The one who cares immensely about all the family and chosen family, the ones to picks up all that no one loves to too, bookkeeping for example or holding meetings with uncle Jimmy - brilliant uncle too, and also the money man in the show. The one who keeps checking on Carmy all times and makes sure he is indeed okay. Her relationship with her husband, the kindest man on the planet , I was not even such people still exists, and here equally ridiculed by the closest family simply because he was present, available, kind and ready to help. Her character builds up slowly, grows on us, supports a lot of people, makes also everything possible and along Sydney, they both magic women keep all functioning. The scenes with her mum too, Donna, always very powerful.

Once again, and I will keep repeating. The direction of the show spent good minutes to take into account every wrinkle on everyone’s faces.Every creases, every emotion was monitored and exposed at length. There was no rush. Sometimes there were words too, sometimes there were just expressions, sometimes there was silence and you could see the internal fight. There was this delight in creation like all of them employed while in the kitchen or just newly discovering like Tina and Marcus. Tinas was rediscovering root vegetables ( what grows togethers, tastes good together ), Marcus plunged into the world of donuts creation and desserts. Watch and see the white violet coming up to life.

The next thing on my to do lists would be” Go to Copenhagen, rent a boat ,feed a cat that might not exist, eat really well” . It is in my notes. No kidding.

I got to carry all this “family” in my soul now. And that includes all of the others: Fak brothers ( cool name for sure!), the “pranksters”, the handymen, equally transforming themselves and stepping up to the changing days and demands of the new “Bear”. Uncle Jimmy, the money man, the investor, being there first and foremost as he wanted to do more for the kids and he perhaps the only way he knew how to do it was with investments. One of my favourite actors as well.

Tina’s evolution from her days at “The Beef”, lessening more and more her resistance out of loyalty to Mickey who offered her a life line by hiring her. Growing to respect Chef Sydney even if younger and an outsider at the end. The look of joy when she would make or learn something good and nice. I could feel her own growth through my pores. Very inspiring.

The stories of humanity here are endless. Every scene gives us the example and the opportunity to be a great human. This is how I have seen it.

Camry’s monologue stands out. He opens up to a group of strangers, showing up to anon meetings as a way to honor his addicted brother. This is the space where he found finally the courage to talk. And when he would start he would just open up and pour out. There was no family events to trigger. There were no elements from his life as a chef to trigger loud reactions. Among all that suffering of addiction, he could perhaps understand his own addiction to perfectionism, to creating to the best there is and his lack of tools to handle life. His focus was obsessively directed in the kitchen. Making changes, creating, he would sit and explain his becoming in a place that he felt safe. In front of that group he was uncaged .The bear was out and almost roaring by letting all his thoughts and emotions coming out.

The power of transformation is real. Palpable. Everyone fighting their own bears, dragons, tigers or preferred spirit animal. I am closer to dogs on my own path I would guess. We might not roar. We jumped with joy when uncaged and embraced the freedom. Searching for the people to love. We also get to choose what trait might be closer to where we are on the path. And we chose when we can tell the story, who is the audience, and should talk about it or not.

“Everyone has a choice. Everyone has a story. Everyone can tell the story and let the bear out uncaged. Fear not. Everything is temporary. “

A brief quote to close the chapter from Dr. Edith Eger, whose bookclub I have attended also few days back. A powerful encounter that would find you in a different story, different day.

The Choice, Escaping the Past, Embracing the Possibilities _ Dr. Edith Eva Eger