We are the world

Forest at night

Apologies in order first and foremost….for not building up enough time to connect with you last week. It is very important for me to be here with you every week and thanks for those reminders …. “So, when is the next? “…

It has been here all along, just waiting for its timing.Timing to pour these words on the paper. Timing to feel at peace within me doing this. I am not doing good at scrambling important things among a multitude of events and I know you all have the same feeling. Some of us we live in the same city - a city alert, a city that never sleeps( except on outer islands where I moved now), a city set for motion at all time, a city of lights ( even on the outer islands- even more so I would say). And thanks God for that…I was just remembering yesterday in a general conversation about my upbringing that I lived though some years where darkness was literal.The electricity will just be cut off.Savings and all.They said. Fear also it generated. …..And with that we leave this here and we move on to the story I picked for today.

We all have a good or “yeah,good” taxi story. Big city dwellers, people not driving our own car like here in Hong Kong, travellers one way or another we gather a lot of taxi stories. Some of us we could get even very passionate and I so much subscribed to that in my first years around this big city. There can be so many ways we cannot simply connect to a driver, where a spark ignites and then a battlefield forms- where all our energies kept inside us all day long just end up with taxi driver shouting at us or dropping us off somewhere else, or simply saying ” oh, the engine, the engine- no work, sorry” and leaving you in the middle of the road - just because the address you mentioned was not to their liking. Sure enough, the moment you are out of the taxi, the engine suddenly roared back to life and off he went. It a wonderful subject of conversation at any time, at any party, at any coffee break - “Let me tell you what happened today and here we start ….. finding something to whine about”. Yes, we all do it.

It has never occurred to me until some time ago- eternally grateful to the person who pointed that out to me- that all these exchanges could be a reflection of the energy we bring in sometimes, is simply a mirror of ourselves in that moment. I know - you felt it, you went there to those moments and you had a rush of sharing with me even more taxi stories where you felt enraged and mistreated and so many other feelings. Oops….I would not let you do that… just for today. Today my intention is to invite you to change your perspective and think perhaps differently. Let us find a good good story that not only marked a day but also marked you for life in so many ways.

Once upon a time I was running a life involving business travel quite a bit. The word running is significant and chose on purpose as I have luckily understood in time that running was not helpful.It is a way of living and it is necessary and part of the job description at times and it is thrilling to go from city to city, country to country and very very grateful for all experiences.I am sincerely very grateful.

Somehow, the story I am about to tell was happening at a very weird moment in my life, a moment when I have decided Hong Kong was not my city. What a shocking time. I have embraced change so fast and I have run - oh yes, I can say that easily now, I have dived into an ocean of unknown with very little swimming experience and quite a big scare of waves. We keep it brief and sweet here and more for the novels I hope to also write - I did take many weird decisions in my life. Oh boy, oh boy, of boy….apparently Ram Dass would often say those magic words.

On the outside- all looking swell my dears - was travelling to a very beautiful trade fair in Germany,Ambiente fair. Is all about interior design, decoration, style,setting the trends for the years to come, living, furniture, accessories, paper crafts and more, artistic at every step. A wonderful wonderful world .I love this trade fair and I have been lucky to attend it with business for many years. It is happening normally in February, it is Europe and it is cold. Snow might fall upon us. Frost might meet us in the morning. Yet, the moment you step inside any location - warmth and lights, good good smell of quality coffee embraces you and you are suddenly awake. I have always loved this contrast in colder countries - a snap of cold in the morning ,then a swift of warmth the moment you arrive anywhere. And yes, coffee is and will be part of our culture. We swear by the good it does. To our soul. It does teach you also few things like generosity, hospitality etc…. ……New topic new story .I am digressing!!.

Arriving full of excitement to Frankfurt. I will see new things,I will meet interesting people,I will discover new trends, reconnect with friends in business I have known for years and years, former colleagues even,clients, …..my stomach would be all butterflied…if that might be a saying.

First and first - let’s settle in this boutique hotel I have managed to find nearby the trade fair grounds -never an easy task and yeah, I got quite a reasonable price too.

Hmmmmm…… it was cold. The entrance.The hello. The only one person who was there to help me sort of register at the reception.The person who was NOT there to help me with the luggage was also very very cold. And then we get to the room- like in me and myself and my luggage. It was cold too. Well, are we not in Germany- outside cold,inside warm? That was for sure not Hong Kong — where inside might be even colder than outside in few months of winter we have here.

It was cold. It was NOT pleasant. It was unwelcoming. And there was no one to ask help from as the person in charge that evening- was just a student covering the shift. Poor guy - my face expressions were not holding back or my agony. I am sure you understood the message from the capitals used earlier.

Left my luggage there and off to the fair.

I am pretty sure I found not only a good double espresso but I found myself a good old fashion brownie. It has worked. It gave me the energy then to walk and walk about 5000miles …this is what we do at trade fairs, take ten thousand photos, have another macchiato, have a quick lunch, walk again, chat, ask questions, get amazing …is all a long shot of adrenaline we maintain well. Love every single bit of it and miss every single bit of Ambiente. The last one I attended was just before Covid madness.

Now that I went back to that day, two events stood out. I have met a good old friend, a former colleague whom I shared indignation and unloaded my “boutique” cold disaster onto. It did not take long for my beautiful friend and to offer to help and share her room with me if I could find a way to change my hotel. Oh -what a relief! …..In my mind however I did not want to impose and during every break I was still checking hotels, locations, prices !!! Omg -cannot be possible. It was a busy day, busy mind, still running as you smartly noticed so.

And as it happens that afternoon, I have also met another former colleague - just say this very politely here. Being also partially true. He has been visiting with his new business partners, son and mom dynamic and you know… we will be going for dinner in the old town ….do join us..kind of conversation. Please come, hadi come with us.

It is also what we do at trade fairs, spontaneous dinners or drinks.All was pretty normal to me.

This is how we have arrived at THE dinner. We met at 6ish at the MTR station as it was way to and the taxi cue was way too long. All ready, set to go … yes and no. This being Ambiente the fair of all things trendy and stylish I did wear a very nice pair of suede boots. Velvety green colour with a bit of a heal…around 7 cm I could say. Very very comfortable when one wears them for 2 hours and very very very uncomfortable when one does around 15,000 steps in them. My feet were totally killing me. Imagine the look on my face again, when they said metro rather than taxi. For all good reasons and fully understandable - we wanted to eat not to wait a taxi for another hour. All made so much sense. Alright, let’s follow the crowd. Squeezed like sardines at peak hour of course in the metro, everyone in business coats, suits, with trolleys full of catalogues at times. Business as usual. We have all done this too long.

Dropped off at whatever station it was and guess what - the restaurant was just around the corner - just about 10-15 minutes walking further. I have literally lost it. …what on hell an earth was I doing here. I do not have hotel, I accepted a dinner with a former colleague that was pretty much out of my life under any given circumstance and I have wanted that way, and my feet were killing me. Let’s keep going, we can do it,pain is nothing, let’s proceed. I still needed to eat… yeah, we say all of these things at once to ourselves.

I cannot recollect well -I have tried but I simply cannot remember well. I have either tried to take my boots off on the street and I think is was too cold to do so. And so I put them back. Or I did not try that part - I only thought about it and I kept going in pain at a very slow pace…. I took the boots off in the bathroom for sure and cried my eyes off from pain and took very deep breaths after refreshed make up and was ready to dine in style in a pizzeria( of all places) in a historical building in Frankfurt. Maybe they had some nice salads too and some nice tiramisu.I cannot just keep complaining.

This part- I will keep it short- just because it triggers me and I do wish to trigger you further - the conversation during the dinner was just mind blowing. At times insulting. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. My former former was overly smothering me -well I am not a kid, I can serve my own salad thank you so much. And yes, you know I love tiramisu and yes we can share it. You know it too. He was trying also to help and try to find hotel for me.Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…….Ok, that was helpful and he could be a solution finder and resourceful so I have let him try kind of 10 minutes of so to help.I did,yes. Not so helpful for the other dinner participants and important business partners - “ our hotel is too expensive and by now for sure they do not have rooms anymore, it has been booked for months in advance” .Yes, thank you very much, the message is well received too. And no, I have not asked any of you for help in fact … There were may other details. All bygone. People do get threatened you know. And they carry these triggers in them and all of my morning with my agony and stuff was relived here and then.

Yes ,I have wondered many times during the dinner. Why was I there exactly? Only God knew. I will share though this secret with you later - as I have found the answer.

Dinner about to end.The best moment of that moment…putting my boots back on.Hmmmmm..I take a deep breath right here right now. Cheers and good health to all women that have been there, still doing that.My goodness.I did it. All mainly because ,with no other option on hand,I took up on my first friend’s offer and accepted to go share her room- and sort the luggage the next morning. That was so kind and generous and sweet of her. A bit of a caveat here but all equally normal when you travel to Frankfurt for trade fairs. Her hotel was a good 30-40 min outside the city…in the middle of nowhere in a nice nice village.I could imagine already the great breakfast the next morning.

So….let’s find you dear Maggish a taxi and send you off. My “dinner” former colleague said. Oh yeah…bye.And bye it was. Oh no,tomorrow I will be really busy. Thanks and nice meeting you all -said Maggie to the people already in the other taxi and closing their doors eagerly. Lol. I do laugh now.

So, back to a taxi. I found a taxi finally. And the taxi found me. Address has been communicated and well understood. He gave me rough price just to make sure there will be some Euros we will be talking about. Okay. Here we go. Some processing happening, could not make the map working…I was still using a blackberry then. The roads were getting darker as we were leaving the city and we were soon entering a forest pretty dim and dark not much snow really there. A country road soon. My coping mechanism kicks in and was keeping sending messages and pretending I am talking to people on my phone.It is about 10.30pm. A tad late my friends.And I got a bit scared. Again. Frozen in time watching every tree, every turn, every light passing by.Oh where is the taxi plate number and his name.Let me jot it down. En guard. Adrenalin just settled in.Once again. How many shots per day could we tolerate. A pretty good number by the looks of it.

He smiled. He tried to ask me if the car is warm enough. Making some general conversation. We were both immigrants. We were. It is what it is. He was also working here in a foreign culture and country for him. He also had sort of fear in his eyes. He asked me if he can play music and I said yes .Music I find is such a good answer. To many things. I asked him to put the volume up - if he does not mind as music was really the answer right then.I needed the music.

He suddenly go lit up. You love music I can tell. Me too. Okay…

Do you like Michael Jackson?

(Do I really have to talk again and entertain another conversation? — kind of showing with my eyes? )

I do love MJ in fact I said. What a talent.

Oh- you know, he said.I love to sing as well. In my country I have participated in some music contests,I have a cd -do you mind if I play it.

(Oh dear !….)

Ok, I said. What music.

Also Michael Jackson -I have registered his songs. ….

It was 11 pm. It was dark really. Thorough the German forests. That was really the only medicine. And the taxi driver singing along as if his life was depending on it.

“We are the world” …. We are the world…. It could never feel more real that now writing this words for you.

I thought I am in a movie. Surreal. Bonded with Michael Jackson.And the forest.And the person in front of me who kind of scared me at first. And all. All feeling so surreal… to be honest noticing slowly slowly that. all tensions during the day were just dissipating.

Just two people. With two different lives. Both living in exile in our-far-away worlds. Yet, feeling seen and heard right there. He responded to my pain unknowingly. And very kindly. He would never probably know in his life how much he changed my day and how much he marked my life that I can now recollect so many details to put on the paper for you.

A drizzle a snow just started. He kept singing.

It was a pity as his voice was not all that soothing, there was some work to be done .But no one cared. That was of least importance. He had the courage to express himself. I had left all my fears away back there in the dark black forest.

Arrived safe at my friend’s location with MJ pumping through my heart. Somehow remembering the movie “13 going on 30” with Jennifer Garner. Loved it. A bit silly but fun. And nooooo. I could never dance like MJ or dare to come close to any of the moves. I do wish so secretly.

We are the world, my dears.

One of take aways of the story is- please do not attend dinners with people that you did not want anymore in your life. They simply do not work. Save this time instead for something that is worth doing -read a book, write on Substack, be with yourself simply. It works wonders :)….. big big smile to all..

The most important takeaway is …there are angels here with us. Sometimes we call upon them involuntarily, sometimes they might be show up.I do also call on them voluntarily. Just to make it clear. It works for me.

Thank you deeply for being here.